No, I’m not talking about marriage. I’m talking about all those plans you committed to once upon a time — the group activities you signed up for, the invitations you accepted when you had every intention of following through.
This week, after a short bout with the dreaded lurgy, I had to cancel a few plans — and even skipped a couple of gym sessions (which is very unlike me). I felt awful about pulling out, especially at the last minute, but truthfully, I’d underestimated just how rough I was feeling.
I’m genuinely grateful to be surrounded by people who love me and want to spend time together. But the truth is, since I’ve started running my own business, my “free” time hasn’t expanded — it’s shrunk. Significantly.
When Eminere launched properly, I did something very deliberate: I blocked out Thursday afternoons and all day Friday as “days off.” After all, if I had the honour of running my own business, why would I work five days a week like everyone else?
Well, fast-forward a few months, and reality checked in:
I have to bend to clients’ and potential clients’ schedules.
Creativity refuses to be time-boxed.
And most importantly: there is always more to do. Always.
A Wake-Up Call
At the start of this year, I confessed that I was part of 19 groups. Yes, 19. I was basically a full-time joiner. This week? I’m down to 12 — and let me tell you, that's a victory worthy of a standing ovation. 🎉
One exit was particularly hard: an elite, invitation-only group. The kind of group you’re supposed to stay in. But after months of pondering, it didn’t meet my criteria anymore. Not because of the people — they are wonderful — but because I’ve become deliberately intentional about the outcomes I’m pursuing.
And here’s the uncomfortable truth:
What was good for you once isn’t automatically good for you now — or for where you’re heading.
We have to reassess our actions and outcomes, constantly. We have to ask: Is this still aligned with my intentions? And if not, we have to have the courage to move on.
It’s not transactional. It’s transformational.
And yes, it’s hard — because these choices impact relationships. But the world has changed. We are “connected” more than ever before, yet loneliness is soaring.
In this hyper-connected world where FOMO reigns supreme, allow me to introduce her elegant sister: JOMO — the Joy of Missing Out. 💃🏾
Time for a Little Life Audit: (I know last week was ROI, this week it’s audit.. you can take the girl out of accounting….)
There are three rules I practice daily to protect my time and energy:
1. Every “Yes” is also a “No.”
Every yes you whisper under duress is a no to something else — perhaps even to your destiny.
2. The Tomorrow Test.
Ask yourself: If this were happening tomorrow, would I be excited? If not, abort mission. Life’s too short for lukewarm enthusiasm.
3. Work Backwards from the Commitment.
Plot it out. Plan the steps. Visualise the cost — emotionally, energetically, financially. Then decide.
Whenever I ignore these rules? Oh, I get burned. 🔥 Every. Single. Time.
Opportunity cost is real — and if you don’t assess it properly, you’ll wake up living a life curated by everyone else's agenda. Trust me, everyone else will have moved on happily without a second thought. It’s not malicious; it’s human nature.
It’s up to us to assert our boundaries. And it’s up to others to respect them.
It’s Time to be (Deliberately) Selfish
This week, I’m giving you full permission to be a little selfish.
(Cue dramatic gasp from the people-pleasers)
Tell your nearest and dearest:
"I’ve been reflecting and realised I need to prioritise what truly makes me happy. I know you’ll understand that by putting myself first, I’ll be even better for you too."
Mic drop. 🎤
As a recovering people-pleaser, I have to remind myself of this constantly. Saying no doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you an honest one.
One thing I often tell my loved ones is:
“My love for you doesn’t depend on you saying yes to me.”
Boundaries are a two-way street. Those who love and respect you will understand and adapt. It might feel awkward at first. But stick with it. Your mental health, your clarity, your sense of peace — they’re worth fighting for.
And remember: the hardest part is at the beginning, when you're teaching people how to respect your time and energy. It gets easier. And your future self will thank you. 💛
Some resources to support you:
Set Boundaries, Find Peace- Nedra Glover Tawwab
Final Thoughts:
This week reminded me: strength isn’t about pushing through at all costs. It’s about knowing when to step back and protect your peace.
Saying no, cancelling plans, choosing rest over ‘keeping up appearances’ — these aren’t acts of weakness. They’re acts of wisdom.
You are not here to run yourself into the ground for the sake of being seen as "reliable" or "nice."
You’re here to live deliberately, to protect your energy, and to build a life that truly reflects who you are becoming.
Remember: every intentional no clears space for a deeper, more powerful yes.
The world will adjust. Your dreams are waiting.
Choose yourself — and do it without guilt.
Your recovering people-pleaser
💜 Next Week
I'm excited to be returning to my travel industry roots, speaking at the Arabian Travel Market in Dubai on the future of work — and how Reverse Mentoring is key to building tomorrow’s workforce. I'll be sharing the stage with brilliant minds from McKinsey, A Great Place to Work, Hilton, and Les Roches Hospitality School.
I’m truly looking forward to it! ✈️
I'll be in Dubai for the week, so if you're attending — or simply in town — and would like to explore how I can support your leadership development through Reverse Mentoring or Executive Coaching, feel free to reach out: [email protected]
